In case of emergenc

The first thing about crisis management is

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Sorry, cat on keyboard. Anyway, the first thing about crisis management is

[an urgent text message makes the phone tip over a glass of water]

Sorry about that. So as I was saying, the first thing about crisis management is

[someone knocks on the door]

Well, that was an interesting fellow. Moving on, the first thing about crisis management is

[an army of spambots invade the mailbox, with the gradually less pleasant “you got mail” sound effect noising each time]

Now there’s a settings menu I’ve not seen in a long time. But where were we? A, right, the first thing about crisis management is

[an angel with broken wings thuds both visibly and audibly a short distance away]

The Lord works in mysterious ways, but it would seem basic first aid is the tenure track to helping Him along. But, the first thing about crisis management is

[absolutely nothing happens]

[then more nothing]

[the continuing nothing is strangely emboldening]

is

[the soundtrack of a very familiar horror movie is somehow projected into the room]

Right. Run. Just run.

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