A felicitous horoscope

Aries

You will notice an unusual number of cats out and about, if you look carefully

Taurus

An unusual number of cats will notice you, and possibly also judge you

Gemini

You might discover that you are actually a catgirl

Cancer

Your internal monologue will be replaced with a Catalan voiceover

Leo

Do not worry about the movements at the periphery of your vision; those are extradimensional kittens

Virgo

A piece of string will inexplicably catch your eye

Libra

Do not make any large life decisions until you have factored in where to house the numerous kittens

Scorpio

You have spontaneously learnt how to purr

Sagittarius

Felix says hi

Capricorn

New verbs have entered your vocabulary, such as prrrp and flomp

Aquarius

The door is ajar

Pisces

You know it’s time for dinner, because the cat is close to your face

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