More longer friend see that sky?

Aries

A cute person will tell you their sign. You will scare them off by telling them that you do not believe in either signs or introductory small talk

Taurus

You will find yourself reading a horoscope for the first time in years.  This will be a strange new experience

Gemini

A prediction will come true. Make it a good one

Cancer

A prediction will fail to manifest. Fortunately, you are a pessimist

Leo

You will tell someone your sign, and they will brush you off. It wasn’t meant to be

Virgo

You do not believe in the stars. Then again, the amount of data is so overwhelming and so utterly out of proportion to the human capability to process, that sometimes the rational choice is to just wing it, lest you be indefinitely paralyzed by indecision

Libra

Cats will gravitate towards you

Scorpio

You have survived an immense amount of bullshit, and do not need vague horoscope predictions

Sagittarius

You dreamt that you would read these very words at this very moment. It is a very strange confluence of events

Capricorn

You will hear someone tell someone else their sign, only to be rudely brushed off. This is your moment

Aquarius

That one song will finally be out of your head

Pisces

For every person, there is an equal and opposite person. Except for you. Your opposites have clearly gone for quantity over quality