Directions for punks and other lost souls

Once you are on the road, continue on it until it terminates. Turn left, past the wind turbines, then left again at the church. Continue until you see the cows grazing in the oak forest, then make a right. The path will continue for some time through the wilderness, but you’ll know when you’ve arrived.

From the library, walk left. Follow main street past the first square, then walk down through the graveyard until you reach the river. Cross it, walk right, then left through the tunnel. Up the stairs, then follow the street perpendicular to the rails. Walk along it until you get to the pizza place we were at; bonus points if you pick up a bite whilst there

There is a red Christmas half-dome in the plaza. Look for the bus stops, then cross the street in that direction. Shortcut through the alley past the big supermarket, then left until you hit the park. Follow the river until you hit the stadium. Navigate the parking lot and hope it’s not game day. Enter the burg place and ask for a sundance special; eventually, one of the bewildered employees will figure out it’s you. Follow any further instructions given. If they give you a burger, eat it

In the tax office, go to the third floor. Take a number, then a seat, then hand in the document. Wait for the inscrutable process of bureaucracy to commence, then thank them politely and accept the new document they hand you. Leave the building, walk across the street and enter the police station. Wait your turn, then hand over the document. Say you’re aware that this kind of thing usually arrive through the mail, but that you noticed that the building was right there and that you figured you’d save everyone some time. Insist, but do not argue. At length, you will be given a new document. Walk back to the tax office, put the document in the inbox, and stand clear of the invisible blast radius

Walk across campus, past the library, past the music building. Either walk the bike path around the new residential area or brave its labyrinthine interior. Once on the other side, cross the road and keep walking until the city abruptly ends. Find the nature trail and follow it, turn left at the parking lot. Find the cabin, then keep walking until you reach the sea. The three cats will eye you suspiciously, but pay them no mind. The mermaid will expect you

Step off the trolley after three stations. Steer clear of the dog park, however enticing its invitations. Take a moment to appreciate the subtle splendor of urban decay; the locals will understand the gesture and route around you. There is a set of stairs across the plaza. Do not be deterred by the fact that no one seems to use them or acknowledge their existence. Keep walking. Whatever you do, keep walking. If it seems to know your name, run. The decay only sets in if you remain in place. Keep walking

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