Category Archives: Dialogues without protagonists

The energy brought to the interview

I

And I’ve been a fool and I’ve been blind
I can never leave the past behind
I can see no way, I can see no way
I’m always dragging that horse around All of his questions, such a mournful sound
Tonight I’m gonna bury that horse in the ground

II

Like Prometheus we are bound
Chained to this rock of a brave new world
Our godforsaken lot
And I feel that’s all we’ve ever needed to know
‘Til worlds end and the seas run cold

III

But ’tis enough. He tasks me; he heaps me; I see in him outrageous strength, with an inscrutable malice sinewing it. That inscrutable thing is chiefly what I hate; and be the white whale agent, or be the white whale principal, I will wreak that hate upon him. Talk not to me of blasphemy, man; I’d strike the sun if it insulted me.

IV

Receive thy new possessor–one who brings
A mind not to be changed by place or time.
The mind is its own place, and in itself
Can make a Heaven of Hell, a Hell of Heaven.
What matter where, if I be still the same,
And what I should be, all but less than he
Whom thunder hath made greater? Here at least
We shall be free; th’ Almighty hath not built
Here for his envy, will not drive us hence:
Here we may reign secure; and, in my choice,
To reign is worth ambition, though in Hell:
Better to reign in Hell than serve in Heaven.

V

Yes the Rum Tum Tugger is a Curious Cat —
And there isn’t any use for you to doubt it:
For he will do
As he do do
And there’s no doing anything about it!

VI

The tortoise lays on its back, its belly baking in the hot sun, beating its legs trying to turn itself over, but it can’t. Not without your help. But you’re not helping.

VII

Not a soul
But felt a fever of the mad and play’d
Some tricks of desperation. All but mariners
Plunged in the foaming brine and quit the vessel,
Then all afire with me: the king’s son, Ferdinand,
With hair up-staring,–then like reeds, not hair,–
Was the first man that leap’d; cried, ‘Hell is empty
And all the devils are here.’

IX

Abraham falls victim to the following illusion: he cannot stand the uniformity of this world. Now the world is known, however, to be uncommonly various, which can be verified at any time by taking a handful of world and looking at it closely. Thus this complaint at the uniformity of the world is really a complaint at not having been mixed profoundly enough with the diversity of the world.

X

The standstill does not last forever. However, it does not cease of its own accord; the right man is needed to end it. This is the difference between a state of peace and a state of stagnation. Continuous effort is necessary to maintain peace: left to itself it would change into stagnation and disintegration. The time of disintegration, however, does not change back automatically to a condition of peace and prosperity; effort must be put forth in order to end it. This shows the creative attitude that man must take if the world is to be put in order.

XI

There is coffee in that nebula

An artful dodger

Art is a step forward, an ambition. It looks at what humanity as a whole – not just individual pockets of it, or even specific individuals, but all of it – can do, and seeks to find out if this really is all there is to it. is the present the limit case of human capability, or can it be pushed further, through intuition, invention or iteration? Are we to settle for what happens to exist – a contingent category if there ever was one – or can we, humanity, move things forward? Art is an endeavor that requires craftmanship, but which can not be reduced to it. There is always a step of transgression, transcendence, transubstantiation. In order to do art, you have to look at a map that says “you are here”, and respond with a forceful “fuck that, let’s get a move on”

To return to your original question, “do computer games have to be fun”, I say, it misses the point. The question is not even wrong. You are thinking too small. We can do better than that. Let’s get a move on

One last job

“The time has come. The time for one last job”

“Oooh. Is it a big heist, where we gather everyone who might be remotely useful for an elaborate planning session?”

“No”

“Is it a small heist, where a select few conspire to move mountains through heroic acts of social engineering?”

“No”

“Is it a series of progressively bigger crimes, probing the edges of a newly formed occult society so as to find and kill its dark god?”

“…no?”

“Have you been unequivocally dishonored and have to commit a series of murders in order to reinstate the child empress after her mother had been unceremoniously assassinated?”

“What, no. It’s a box. The same kind of box I’ve delivered for years and years. I don’t know what’s in it or where it goes after I drop it off. It just happens to be the very last one I deliver before I resign. Which is today. After I deliver this box”

“One last Job”

“One last job”

Progressions and variations of an NPC’s responses to player actions

Hi there!

Thanks again for helping me out with those cabbages! It would have taken days without your assistance!

I heard back at the inn that there’s a nearby hamlet in need of some heroics, if you’re up for it

Listen, ordinarily I would tell you ambient gossip about the townsfolk so as to provide a nugget of world-building, but there seems to be an army of some description camped right outside the gates

Ah yes, an old tale, I used to search for it myself as a young one. The only thing I ever found were kobolds, who taught me to make tea

Sorry, gotta get these cabbages indoors before dark

Did you hear? They rebuilt the bridge over the Ancient Chasm!

Jolly gosh, tomorrow is festival day! I reckon this year we will see the mother jellyfish for sure!

Whoa, I haven’t seen one of those since the Time of Troubles, and seeing it again can’t be a good sign

Wanna play another hand of Caravan?

System.out.println(“Hello, %playername!”);

Rumor has it you’ve been up to no good, so no trading for you! Begone, and make amends!

The catgirls are on the prowl, be careful out there

A geck? Like one of those lizards? Talk to Smiley about that

Hell is empty, and all the thespians are here

Alright, that’s it, fork over the mallows

Though this village exists within the Kingdom, we play no part in its attempt at perpetuation

At last I have found you, the architect of my demise, to exact revenge upon thy regretful form; make peace with the gods you have slain, for I am their instrument of retribution

Grassroots forestry

“Climate change? Oh no, that’s fake. 100% made up nonsense. Hot air, if you’ll pardon the pun”

“But, why then go all in on solving it? Wouldn’t that be a waste of resources?”

“One might think, but we actually gain a lot from the efforts. Being more energy efficient is better in general, and figuring out large scale ecological processes will help us grow better food. Good stuff. But the best part is political”

“Political? How so?”

“See, people get together and perform remarkable feats when they are threatened by external forces. Throughout history, these external forces have often been other people, which caused war and genocide and all kinds of mayhem. By focusing everyone’s attention on a non-human threat, we avoid a lot of potential future repetitions of these tendencies. And get better peacetime tech, too”

“So what you are saying is that solving climate change would be a victory, even if the whole thing is made up?”

“The distinction between trees and forests is more subtle than you’d think. Truly, it is a beautiful world we live in”

On the pragmatic impracticality of equality

“So here’s what I do. I go to free speech rallies, and I wear my trademark outfit”

“A trademark outfit, you say?”

“Oh yes. It takes very careful and deliberate attention to detail to pull it off. Just winging it won’t work; they’ll see right through it. Gotta effort it, make it just right”

“So how do you prepare?”

“At first, I tried various methods of artificially inducing the look. None of them worked, but they all took a lot of time and effort. Determined not to give up, I persevered, and then it struck me. The one surefire way to get everything just right is to actually bona fide do it”

“So you became homeless?”

“Well, no, of course not. I just spend a lot of time in the urban outdoors, day and night. This had the desired effect, and made me look the part. I also learned that there are a lot more alleys, overpasses and forgotten side streets in this city than I’d previously thought. Also, newspapers are golden”

“And then you looked the part?”

“Oh yes. But I didn’t act the part, so I had to integrate myself with the local community. Turns out it’s easy to do if you actually sleep outside; shared miseries become a bond of sorts, if you’re not a jerk about it. Bringing booze helped as well”

“Yes, about that”

“See, I looked and acted the part, but didn’t smell it. Again, you can’t wing it. Smelling like any old alcohol won’t do. You have to know the streets and what’s cheap on them. Fancy whiskey is a no-no, gives it all away. There is this guy with a still up on Third, however. Get some of that on you, and you’re right as rain. I would not recommend getting it in you, though”

“So. Looking, acting and smelling the part. All set, then?”

“For my purposes, yes. So here’s what I do. I show up in my best homeless, slightly drunk impression, and demand that my voice be heard. Moreover, I insist that as a citizen I am entitled to the same freedom of speech as any person who has taken it upon themselves to wear a suit. It’s a universal right, see, unalienable even”

“How does that turn out?”

“Usually, with throwing. Sometimes at me, sometimes me. Turns out some people are less equal than others, when push comes to shove. Or throw”

Situational awareness

“This might be a bit difficult to explain, but-”

“Are you from another dimension, where everything is the same as it is here, albeit with a few differences interspersed throughout?”

“No, but-“

“Are you stuck in a time loop, and have to find some way to convince someone – anyone, really – that all of this has happened before?”

“No, but-“

“Have you arrived from the future to steer humanity away from the whole concept of time travel, as it will inevitably lead to a stable time loop wherein Skynet exists?”

“…no?”

“What seems to be the problem, then?”

“Well, you see, I was in a hurry before boarding the train, and accidentally bought tickets in the wrong direction”

“Let’s see. Ah yes. Well, they cost the same either way, so you bought the right one in spirit. No need to worry”

“Thanks”

A cry for help

“Welcome to the support helpline. How can I be of assistance?”

“How could this happen to me

I made my mistakes

I’ve got no where to run

The night goes on”

“Sir, I understand that you are upset about whatever happened to your computer, but if you could please be a little more specific in your explanation of the problem”

“I open my eyes

I try to see but I’m blinded by the white light

I can’t remember how

I can’t remember why

I’m lying here tonight”

“I see. Can you describe the problem in more detail? Which part of your computer seems to be broken?”

“And I can’t stand the pain

And I can’t make it go away

No I can’t stand the pain”

“Is it that your monitor is too bright? Is that it?”

“Yeah, that’s it. It hurts my eyes”

“I see. There is a thing called night mode. Have you tried activating it?”

“Holy moly, it works wonders. Thanks!”

“You’re welcome”

“…can I sing the rest of the song?”

“Please don’t”

“Okay. Have a nice day. And thanks again!”

A time-honored tradition

“I come from the future – your future – and I need me to do something for me”

“Are you playing the pronoun game on yourself?”

“Who’d better to? Nevertheless – neverdeleuze – I need you to do something. It’s very small, it won’t take up much of your time, and the benefits will be immense when the time comes”

“Sounds like it would be in my best interest to listen. What am I supposed to do?”

“I need you to add the line ‘, as is common in economies of jouissance’ to page 242 of the thing you’re writing now”

“…the thing is only 70 pages so far”

“Right, yes, of course. The writing process and all that. Let’s see. It would be the section on Star Trek and how it relates to contemporary culture. After the detailed examination of the slashfics surrounding-“

“I know the part. Wherein?”

“Let’s see – ah, here, before the Klingon mating rituals but after the Romulan political machinations”

“So what does that sentence fragment even mean?”

“I have no idea, but good things will come out of it being there. Trust me – I’m you”

“Hold up. Are you from a future where I put in that fragment, or one where I didn’t?”

“Sorry, time’s up. Remember what I said!”

Paratextual banditry

“So this is what you propose to send in? This is the controversial piece of writing that will flip the tables, cause intellectual riots and generally upset the salons?”

“Yes”

“But it is the most banal, straightforward, unproblematic text there ever was. In fact, I can’t find one single controversial aspect either in or about it!”

“Think about it in the context of everything else I’ve written”

“What do you mea-“

“That look on your face means you’ve got it”

“You can’t be- you wouldn’t- that’d be”

“I’m glad you understand”

“You magnificent bastard”

“That would be me”